Getting started young with many attachments

Question

I realize that at least the first part of the title is probably the most easily researched question with relevance to Buddhism possible, but I'd say I've read quite a bit and though I've seen very appealing and interesting ideas, I have no idea how to actually apply many of them.

I'm a fourteen year old male. I've always sorta felt like there was something more but that Christianity always looked outside yourself seemed wrong. Recently I had a spiritual experience and soon after read Be Here Now and it all seems to fit perfectly. I just have no idea what to do. I have little choice in what I eat, wear, how I look, none in what I live (etc)... what do I do? I'm trying to meditate and though it does make me conscious and alert, I feel like soon after I feel a strange warm sensation I "snap out of it" automatically.

More than the actual lifestyle changes, of course, I'm looking for changes in the way I think and act. The spiritual experience sorta let me see the degree to which almost everything around me is fake and wrong. I feel like I'm a much better person compared to the guy I was before but I'm just having incredible difficulties making it stay because though my state of mind and experience has changed, my surroundings have not and I feel like due to my confidence problems I conform.

I realize that this journey lasts a lifetime and forever, but I'm afraid that if I don't make progress and begin it'll just be a forgotten memory. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any tips? What did you do that finally made you adopt the lifestyle? I'd be perfectly satisfied with a link or a name of a book but I need something.

Answer 1

Even if you might not see it, you are very lucky to start this journey (Buddhism?) at such a young age. Just having a sense of a direction shapes to some degree the choises you make and the way you approch life situations.

At this age you might not have control of many decisions that affect you,so becomes even more important what you do with the aspects you can control ( who you spend your free time with, the books you read).

I think it's very important to be kind with yourself. Like you've said, it's a long journey. Try to rejoyce for the smallest progress you make (maybe you're controling your temper for 5 minutes longer than you normally do, maybe you are a little bit kinder to stranger than you were before); don't condamne yourself for the mistakes, just make a mental note to try to do it better the next time.

If you are interested in Buddhism, the precepts are very important guides in our life journey. The important thing is they are trainings, aspects we can continuously work on. So maybe you would like to read more about it.

Then there is the Eight Noble Path, the important training in morality, concentration and wisdom. I found very helpful the book of Lama Surya Das - Awakaning the Buddha within. There are many books on the topic, so just give it a try.

Venerable Yuttadhammo has a series of youtube videos on diffrent aspects of life and meditation. I highly recommand theme.

As one last idea, try to focus on the things you can control, understand that continous insight takes a lot of work and meditate. Good luck!