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Time to time , feeling emptiness, do not see any value in goodness and badness. Some time, getting the question what is happiness, everything seems to be happiness, everything seems to be annoying. Feeling like to cry some times. But at the end, feeling some kind of fear in my mind whenever i get feel the mentioned above.
What is the practice, or what is that have to be done to understand or overcome this fear?
It's hard to answer this kind of questions without seeing the questioner upclose. But from what I can see, here is what I can say:
The reason Emptiness brings fear, is because it removes simple direction: go this way, do this. Indeed, if the world had simple moral imperative, or simple value imperative ("so and so is the best") - it would be simply a matter of pursuing that. Instead, to accept Emptiness means to accept that responsibility for making decisions lies upon ourselves. There is nothing in the world that has absolute value. So we can't just figure out what it is and thereby win the game!
Sounds like you need to learn to trust yourself. Trust your own judgement of goodness and badness, of happiness and suffering.
If you are very confused, you can use Buddhist precepts and principles as the first approximation. But eventually you have to discover your own source of wisdom, your own Buddha nature.
Trungpa Rinpoche said, "the bad news is we are falling -- the good news is, there is no ground". This is what it means to take the leap into Emptiness, to take responsibility. There is no guarantee that what you do will get you to a good destination -- so you have to keep your eyes open and rely on your own fundamental sanity.
Or, as Buddha said:
Monks, be islands unto yourselves, be your own refuge, having no other.
When I was an early teen, I too had the same issue. I believe this is due to non compatibility of the deepness of what he practices and what he is capable of at the moment. Have the big goal but divide it into chunks and start small. Start with restraining from all evil deeds and do a simple form of meditation like metta meditation where you do not need the help of a teacher. You can find some videos how to do and practice alone. Even reading and memorizing the story and qualities of the triple gem is good.
I was also just like you, was unhappy with no apparent reason. A friend reminded me this, "health is the greatest gift, contentment is the greatest wealth trusted friend is the best relative, Nibbana is the greatest bliss" as preached by Lord Buddha to king Kosol. So never underestimate happiness, it is a thing you should meet on the way to nirvana. And merits roughly mean the happiness you get after doing something good. So if the happiness you get is low, you actually reduce the strength of the merit.
As preached by Lord Buddha, when you get any fear, remind yourself the qualities of Lord Buddha. The nine qualities. If not working, remind the six qualities of dhamma, even if not working, remind the nine qualities of Sangha. You will be fine. You can listen to Ratana sutta often, the sutta contains many of the qualities of the triple gem. The sutta was specially preached to relieve fear. You can read the sutta, listen to the chanting etc. I am so sure it will work.
