Proper meditation at hard times ( to be kind, open mind and enjoy hard times )

Question

I understand that i act harmfully by my words also when i struggle at hard situation. (male 37 years old)

 For example today forced my mother ( elderly) to do some work which i thought it could be good for her but dont consider her disability and health problem because of her Brain stroke like some partly depression and maybe her scares about her life.

I think if have some view point of the reasons of happening  this situation could be useful to suggest proper meditation for this situation.

So i think is because of becoming sensitive and like to be kind, so try to give her an advice which in during the conversation my reactions change to showing that i am leader or supportive but not in controled of others!.  so at this situation finally i sence her hurted by my words and reactions. ( my brother some times before said to me your speaking tone is some not interesting and maybe could be changed by some meditation?!!)

Also sence to have cached by my psychological system and some other limitations , and can not find other situation and have more freedom for choosing some others actions and sensing more kindly.

So what kind of meditation do you suggest for this situation to try?

 

Thanks for your attention.

 

Answer 1

In Buddhism, a type of meditation to be used is called EQUANIMITY MEDITATION.

Equanimity meditation is: "OTHERS ARE PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS".

Often we want to help another person but that other person cannot be helped.

If your mother has had a stroke, you must be very patient & gentle with her.

You probably should ask your mother a question, such as: "Would you like to try to do some work? I will be here with you to help you".

Instead of controlling your mother, try to assure your mother you will support her.

For example, Buddhism teaches to never teach another person Buddhism if that other person does not want to listen to Buddhism.

It is the same with your mother. You should try to encourage your mother to make her own decision about her doing some work & exercise.

Also, I recommend you ask your mother's doctor, physiotherapist &/or occupational therapist for some advice about methods of helping your mother.

Also, you could ask an occupational therapist to visit your home to help you help your mother. If a professional occupational therapist visits your mother to help you help your mother, your mother may reduce fear & trust you more because you have been taught to help her by a professional occupational therapist.